


Birthdays

by IaMcHrIsSi



Series: Small pictures [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, litte vignettes about Luke and Leia growing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:03:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5024026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IaMcHrIsSi/pseuds/IaMcHrIsSi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I hate my birthday. Always did.” Leia's voice is quiet, but steady. She's not looking at Luke. He wants to take her hand, to comfort her somehow, but he doesn't know how.</p>
<p>“My parents tried to make it nice for me, but well... it's Empire day, too. We always had to pretend to like the Empire, and there were fireworks and parades and everything. I would have been fine with it, I really would, I was part of the Imperial senate for years, but that it had to be on my birthday.... I hated it.” Leia is staring at the sky still, even though the birds have disappeared.</p>
<p>“My birthday was never a huge thing on Tatooine, you know. We didn't have much money, and there was no party at all. It was just my uncle and aunt, and my best friend Biggs. My aunt used to bake this bread cake. It wasn't like the cake you probably have at the core, not even like the cake we have here, but it was... it was my birthday tradition. It was home.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthdays

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came from the wonderful Darkmagyk.

The very first birthday Leia remembers is a birthday she shouldn't be able to remember. Nobody remembers their birth, that's just not possible. Yet Leia remembers her biological mother, this beautiful, sad woman who cried and smiled at the same time, and papa says that her mother died only hours after her birth.

It's a paradox Leia spends much time on trying to solve, only to give up in the end, because there just isn't any solution. Papa doesn't speak about Leia's birth mother often, and mama even less. Still, it's something that makes Leia wonder, at times, who her biological mother was, if she left such an impression that Leia can still remember her against all probability.

* * *

The first birthday Luke remembers is his fifth one. The twin suns were burning down on Tatooine exceptionally mercilessly, and Luke remembers the sweat running down his tiny body, but it was a good day.

Aunt Beru had made him a special bread that almost looked like the cake they showed on the holo sometimes, and Uncle Owen had given him screwdriver so that Luke could work with mechanics. Biggs had come by, and they had drawn some pictures for some time while Beru watched them. In the end, Biggs had gifted Luke his picture, two stickfigures running through the desert hand in hand. The picture ends up pinned in Luke's room, until years later, it burns with the rest of the farm.

What Luke remembers when he thinks back on this birthday is warmth. Not physical warmth, no, but emotional warmth. He remembers feeling connected to the people around him, feeling safe and loved. It's something that he keeps with him, even after the farm is destroyed and his family dead.

* * *

The next birthday in Leia's memory, the first one she actually, really remembers, not just images and feelings, is her sixth one. She remembers the fireworks, and the parades, and all the important visitors. For a few moments, she had felt as though the world was circling around her, and only her.

Even then, though, she noticed that her fathers smile was strained, and her mothers laugh never reached her eyes. The symbols in the sky were not of Alderaan, of Leia or of the house Organa, they were the symbols of the Empire, celebrating six years of existence. The parades were made out of stormtroopers proudly brandishing their weapons, and most of the important visitors made Leia want to hide behind her parents.

She was a princess of Alderaan, though, even at six, and so she bravely smiled and pretended that she did not long for all of them to leave again.

* * *

Luke's ninth birthday is not actually something special, it is a birthday like most others, full of work and school, but with warmth and smiles and Aunt Beru's special bread cake.

Still, Luke remembers it in detail, because it is the day he spoke to Ben Kenobi for the very first time.

Ben Kenobi has lived in his small hut in the desert since Luke can remember. The people of Tatooine don't really know him, this stranger from the Core Worlds. He's not one of them, he's never been. Uncle Owen dislikes the man, even though he never really explained why he does to Luke.

Luke, like most other children, is mostly curious. This man, this old hermit, who lives all alone in the desert and only sometimes comes to town to buy some food or other necessary things, fascinates him. There are dozens of stories as to who the man is, what he did and why he is hiding here. Some say that he used to be a great bounty hunter, until someone killed his wife. Others insist that he is a member of the Imperial military, who deserted after having to do something truly horrible. Some even say that he might have been a Jedi, but nobody truly believes that. The Jedi are all dead, everyone knows that, even on an outer rim planet like Tatooine.

Luke isn't sure what to believe. He's seen Ben Kenobi sometimes, seen his old face and his strong hands, and he wonders. He'd like to believe that Ben is some kind of hero, a knight to save them all, but this is Tatooine, a crimelord's backyard. It's just as likely that Ben is the bad guy in his story.

Anyway, it's Luke's ninths birthday, and he promised Aunt Beru to get some milk from the market. It's not a big market, only a few market stands, but Luke knows every single one of the owners, and they all greet him and congratulate him on his birthday. He grins the whole time, and doesn't really pay attention to where exactly he is walking...

… until he runs face first into a man in worn, brown robes. He looses balance and almost falls, but strong hands take his arms and steady him. Luke looks up, and sees Ben Kenobi smilling down at him. There is warmth in Ben's eyes, warmth and a spark of amusement.

“I'm sorry, Mr. Kenobi, I didn't watch where I was going.” Luke says politely. Aunt Beru taught him to always be polite. Ben lets go of him, and his smile widens.

“There is no harm done. You're Luke, aren't you? I heard it's your birthday.” The old mans voice is soft, and Luke immediately likes him. Something tells him that this man is safe, that he is good, and Luke doesn't get that feeling from many people.

“I'm nine today.” He declares proudly. Nine is old enough to learn to use a riffle, uncle Owen always says. His first lesson will be tomorrow.

“Well, then, congratulations. And take care of yourself.” Ben is still smiling, even though a fleeting something crosses his eyes as Luke talks. Luke wants to know what that is about, but Ben is already leaving.

Luke stares after him for a few moments, sees the brown robe disappear between all the people of his home town, before remembering the milk he wanted to bring aunt Beru.

* * *

Leia spends most of her elevenths birthday in her room. She is going to have to present herself to the people of Alderaan and the guests from the Empire tonight for the celebrations of Empire day, but for now she can escape the meaning of this day.

Leia hates her birthday. Or more exactly, she hates that it falls on Empire day, that the day that celebrates her birth also celebrates that of the Empire. She hates the Empire with a passion that sometimes scares her parents, but she can't help it. She knows what the Imperials do to people they don't like, she knows what they did to the Jedi and all those, who openly fought against them.

The Empire doesn't like it when people know about that, but father and mother and Miss Sabe made sure to teach Leia. Mother always says that one can only truly rule wisely if they know all the facts, and Leia agrees.

It just makes it so much harder to smile and pretend that she likes the Empire when all she wants to do is punch the Emperor in the nose.

There is a knock on the door. Leia looks up from where she is lying on her bed, reading through her Empire issued history book. She detests it, but if she is asked, she needs to know the acceptable answers. Maybe it's Winter, coming to check up on her? Winter knows how much Leia dislikes her birthday.

“It's open.” She says. To her surprise, it isn't Winter but their father who comes in. He is already dressed for the celebration this evening, wearing a rich purple doublet and his expensive watch that mama gave him years ago. He looks handsome, in a fatherly kind of way.

“Are you alright, Lelila?” He asks. He is always making sure that she is doing okay. She loves that about him.

“Yes. Well, we have to show up, don't we?” It's not really a question. They can't risk not showing their support for the Empire, even though it makes her (and, she suspects, her parents) want to throw up. There is much more at stake than their own pride.

Papa sits down next to her. His eyes fall on the history book that's still lying there, open on a page about Senator Amidala. There is a shadow of pain in his eyes that he tries to hide, but Leia knows her father.

“Who was she?” Leia asks. She remembers reading that Senator Amidala was in the senate at the same time as papa was, so maybe he knew her?

“A good friend.” Papa says, and this time there is definitively grief in his eyes. It unsettles her a bit. Leia has never seen her father grieving for anyone. Come to think about it, she's never seen him express any negative emotion. He's open about joy, and about his love for her and mama and Winter, and he is proud of them, but things like worry, sadness, anger, grief? She doesn't think she's ever seen that from him.

“Why did she work for the Empire then?” The book is very clear about that. There is an entire chapter about how Senator Amidala was murdered by rogue Jedi when she tried to help the Emperor archive control about the Senate and expose the Jedi conspiracy. Leia can't believe that last part, though. The Jedi were peacekeepers, all her teachers agree. She can't imagine them just going to murder an unarmed senator, just as she can't truly believe that such a thing as a Jedi conspiracy happened at all.

“She didn't, Lelila. She was part of a group that worked against it.” _Part of papa's group then,_ Leia thinks. He never says it openly, never risks letting it be known, but she knows he is opposing the Empire in some way without putting them in too much danger. She is pretty sure his friend Mon is part of this group, too, and some other senators.

“So... they made that all up? How did she die?” She asks, and immediately wishes she didn't. Papa is visibly uncomfortable with the question, and she doesn't want to hurt him.

“She... she supported us. She believed in democracy and in freedom, like you. And Lord Vader murdered her for it.” Lord Vader. Leia has heard of him before, has even seen him once, when he visited Alderaan. She's always disliked him, but now she hates him. He is part of the Empire, and he makes her feel small and powerless and insignificant just by looking at her, and now he killed a friend of papa. She hates him.

_(Years later, she will remember this conversation, and hate Vader even more for it)_

* * *

Luke's fourteenth birthday is the the birthday he finally is given his own speeder. It's an old model, and he needs to fix it up a bit for it to work properly, but from the moment he first sees it, he can't stop smiling. He hugs both aunt Beru and Uncle Owen, who smile at him, and then he's off to examine the speeder.

Luke has wished for a speeder of his own for ages. Sure, he can borrow uncle Owens sometimes, and yes, he did fly that one in a speeder race once (well, twice... four times. Just four times. And he actually won the last one), but a speeder that's all his own? A speeder he can fix up to be faster, to have greater manouverability, to be better in a race without uncle Owen ever noticing? Luke has dreamed of this for so long.

After school, he shows his speeder to Biggs. Biggs has had a speeder of his own for almost half a year now, but Biggs is a couple months older than Luke, and his family owns much more land, so there's that. Biggs would also never fly in a race. He loves watching Luke fly, and always bets on him, but Biggs wouldn't really stand a chance in the race. He's got talent, Biggs, he's a decent pilot, but he isn't anywhere close to how good Luke is and they both know it. Biggs always jokes that it's in Luke's name, after all, how could a man named Skywalker not be a pilot?

Biggs is suitably impressed by the speeder, and they spend the rest of the day figuring it out. Aunt Beru brings them her special bread cake, and they eat it together, relishing in the nice, cool garage while aunt Beru listens quietly to some music from the holo radio.

Luke keeps the speeder until he is 19 and his world comes crushing down around him. It never once lets him down.

* * *

Leia is sitting in front of the huge mirror in her refresher. It's her sixteenth birthday, and she will give a speech about Alderaans position within the Empire tonight. The speech will be made up out of lies.

Leia stares at her reflection. There is a young woman looking back, pretty and expensively dressed, her hair done up nicely. It's only the make up that's missing.

She takes out the red lipstick. It's not that she doesn't like make up, there's nothing better than bright red lipstick when one needs a boost in confidence, but the thought of the celebration in the evening makes her feel sick.

Leia has always hated her birthday, since the day she understood what “Empire Day” means. She used to be mad about it, used to rant about the fact that her birthday just had to fall on exactly this day. Couldn't it have been a day earlier, or a day later?

Well, it's not like it's going to change anytime soon. She sighs and starts applying the lipstick. It's a new one, a present from Winter to Leia's birthday. The color is a bit more daring than what she uses usually, but then again she is sixteen today, it's expected that she should appear to be more adult.

The eyeliner is always the worst. Leia usually has steady hands, it makes her one of the best shots with a blaster around here, but when applying eyeliner that somehow seems to just … disappear. She's just started cursing when her mother comes in.

“Let me help, sweetling.” Mama says with a warm smile. She sits down next to Leia, a strong, warm presence that calms Leia's nerves. For a few moments, they sit in silence as mama helps Leia with the make up.

“Why does it have to be my birthday?” Leia finally bursts out. “Why does it have to be exactly this day that we all have to smile and praise the Empire and pretend we don't want to vomit everytime we do?” It sounds childish, but Leia can't help it. It's something that is bothering her this whole day, and she knows that mama knows it, too.

“The universe isn't fair, sweetling. Believe me, I wish it was. I wish we could give you the perfect birthday you deserve, but sadly, that's not possible. We have to protect our people. Just remember that no matter what, your father and I love you so very very much. Nothing is ever going to change that.” Mama's voice is soothing and calm, and it makes Leia want to be a little girl again, small enough to be carried and cuddled by her parents.

Half an hour later, Leia is standing in front of a huge imperial flag and holding her very first intergalactical speech. The applause is mostly polite, she didn't say anything that would warant much more, but her parents are proud. Leia manages not to throw up.

* * *

The party is loud, the backyard is full, High Command is ignoring all of it and everyone is happy. Well, almost everyone.

Luke himself, one of the reasons for this celebration, can't help but feel melancholic. He appreciates that his friends throw him a party, he really does, but... he misses home. He misses aunt Beru and uncle Owen and Biggs, who never made a huge fuss around his birthday but made sure he knew that he was loved in a way his friends here can't. He just... it's not home, and it will never be.

He finally gets out of his friends view and disappears to the roof. It's blissfully quiet there, and even though it's rather cool, it's still better than inside.

“So you fled, too?” A familiar voice comes from his right. There, on the edge of the roof, Leia is sitting. She's smiling at him, although he sees the sadness in her eyes.

“It's all.... just a bit too much.” Luke says, and sits down next to his friend. She's dressed in white, like so often, and her hair is tied up in a perfect bun.

For a few moments, they just sit there, watching tropical birds fly through the air around the base. Neither of them had ever seen such birds before coming here, and Luke has to admit that they are very pretty.

“I hate my birthday. Always did.” Leia's voice is quiet, but steady. She's not looking at Luke. He wants to take her hand, to comfort her somehow, but he doesn't know how.

“My parents tried to make it nice for me, but well... it's Empire day, too. We always had to pretend to like the Empire, and there were fireworks and parades and everything. I would have been fine with it, I really would, I was part of the Imperial senate for years, but that it had to be on my birthday.... I hated it.” Leia is staring at the sky still, even though the birds have disappeared.

“My birthday was never a huge thing on Tatooine, you know. We didn't have much money, and there was no party at all. It was just my uncle and aunt, and my best friend Biggs. My aunt used to bake this bread cake. It wasn't like the cake you probably have at the core, not even like the cake we have here, but it was... it was my birthday tradition. It was home.” Luke hasn't told anyone else about this. There was never a situation where that felt right, but right here and right know, it's feels natural.

“Were there no Empire day celebrations?” Leia asked, genuine curiousity in her voice. She's leaning closer to Luke now, and he smiles.

“There was an Imperial base there, but it was really tiny. They didn't have enough men to take charge of the planet, and they knew it. So they just let us live our own lifes, and we ignored them. We were lucky, I guess.” Luke sighs. And shiver, just a bit. He misses the warmth of Tatooine, even though he never thought he would.

“You must miss your family very much.” Leia says. This time, Luke does take her hand. She doesn't move away.

“Yes, I do. I miss them everyday, but today especially is hard. But you miss your parents, too, don't you?” Luke says. For a moment he wonders whether he went to far, whether this is too personal, but Leia nods.

“I keep expecting them to show up, you know. To come here and tell me it's all just a bad dream, that nothing happened and we're all safe.” It's but a whisper, but Luke can easily understand her.

“I know that feeling.” Luke says. “It's probably natural.”

They sit like that for a few more minutes, enjoying the peace of this place and the warmth of each other's presence.

“Should we go back in? Surely they'll miss us by now.” Luke asks finally. Leia shakes her head, and then lays it on his shoulder. Distantly, Luke realizes that this should alarm him, that he should feel nervous because this really pretty, really nice woman is so close to him, but all he feels is a sense of rightness.

“Let's stay, just a bit.” Leia says, and Luke doesn't argue.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as Lukeleiahan


End file.
